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Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love

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Author: Robert Karen
Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
Category: Book

List Price: ~~$21.95~~
Buy Used: $13.00
You Save: $8.95 (41%)

New (26) Used (17) from $13.00

Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 512
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.3
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.3

ISBN: 0195115015
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.8743
EAN: 9780195115017
ASIN: 0195115015

Publication Date: April 23, 1998
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Accessories:

•	Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers

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Editorial Reviews:

Product Description
The struggle to understand the infant-parent bond ranks as one of the great quests of modern psychology, one that touches us deeply because it holds so many clues to how we become who we are. How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults? Why do we repeat with our own children--seemingly against our will--the very behaviors we most disliked about our parents? In Becoming Attached, psychologist and noted journalist Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental and fascinating questions of emotional life. PKaren begins by tracing the history of attachment theory through the controversial work of John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, and Mary Ainsworth, an American developmental psychologist, who together launched a revolution in child psychology. Karen tells about their personal and professional struggles, their groundbreaking discoveries, and the recent flowering of attachment theory research in universities all over the world, making it one of the century's most enduring ideas in developmental psychology. PIn a world of working parents and makeshift day care, the need to assess the impact of parenting styles and the bond between child and caregiver is more urgent than ever. Karen addresses such issues as: What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value? Is day care harmful for children under one year? What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?, and he demonstrates how different approaches to mothering are associated with specific infant behaviors, such as clinginess, avoidance, or secure exploration. He shows how these patterns become ingrained and how they reveal themselves at age two, in the preschool years, in middle childhood, and in adulthood. And, with thought-provoking insights, he gives us a new understanding of how negative patterns and insecure attachment can be changed and resolved throughout a person's life. PThe infant is in many ways a great mystery to us. Every one of us has been one; many of us have lived with or raised them. Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.

Customer Reviews: Read 25 more reviews...

4 out of 5 stars

good start September 13, 2008
This book is perfectly written, gives a reading pleasure, a very good historical review of attachment theory. But if you want something more technical this may be not suitable for you. I'll advise this book as a good start for anyone who wants to get familiar with attachment.

5 out of 5 stars

A very fine treatment of the subject, useful in work with adults as well as with children. And for another fascinating book August 20, 2008
I recommend That's How the Light Gets In: Memoir of a Psychiatrist by Susan Rako, M.D. The title comes from a song by Leonard Cohen: "There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Rako's book is remarkably candid, brilliantly insightful, and wonderfully wel-written. It's a great read. The writing just flows.

5 out of 5 stars

Book Review on "Becoming Attached" April 28, 2008
3 out of 3 found this review helpful

This is an amazing book which was recommended to me by a friend who works in Child Protection - the parents of the children have mental health issues which range from learning disabilities to more extreme personality disorders. She sees babies and toddlers who have been abused through neglect; absence of communication; verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. The children suffer a range of disorders from the physical to mental, emotional and social as a result, yet all have degrees of attachment to their abusers, ambivalent attachment and codependency and the patterns of how they are likely to develop are easy to see manifesting in the child that will become the adult if there is no early intervention, if the relationships were to continue between child and parent and if there is a lack of awareness or ability as a growing adult to consciously make efforts to change habitual patterns. This book covers all of these themes. Moreover in the seemingly relatively normal upbringing of a child and then the adult who looks retrospectively at their own childhood and their present relationship with their own children similar issues arise which affect their ability or capacity to love or show an ability to love. This book causes one to self-reflect, analyse and ponder quite deeply how we love because of how we were loved or what we understood or perceived love to be.

5 out of 5 stars

Amazing Insight to understanding others March 26, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful

I just finished this book about two weeks ago and I want to read it again. Although the book at times is a little technical, it is perfect for anyone interested in understanding people. Although the book is primarily about child development, Robert Karen adds amazing insights throughout that are absolutley mind boggling. I would highly recommend this to everyone because you will not only understand others, but you will understand yourself. Absolutely love it!

5 out of 5 stars

an illuminating guide that does not underestimate the intelligence of the reader January 16, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful

I'm about 2/3 of the way through this, and I must say: I am very impressed. You can learn a lot more from this book about childrearing and how to bring children up to be secure, confident adults that you can from most of the pop psychology and parenting books which present the fad of the day or some catchy opinion that has not been backed up by scientific research. Karen has a rare combination of professional expertise, a wide command of the extensive literature relating to early childhood including psychoanalytic, a real gift for writing, and a willingness to not dodge difficult issues and to be entirely forthright with the reader, without ever underestimating the intelligence of the reader to grapple with the issues he brings up and form their own conclusions. The book does get a bit dense towards the middle, including info that the layperson probably wouldn't want to bother with, but he never loses the narrative thread and I kept reading and learning and being grateful he did such a thorough and well-reasoned job of presenting all this material.

Copyright 2007 White Hat Communications.
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