THE NEW SOCIAL WORKER's Books & More Shop: Books on Death and Grief: Finding My Banana Bread Man: A Journey through Mourning

Finding My Banana Bread Man: A Journey through Mourning
enlarge	Author: John R. Davis Publisher: Wheatmark Category: Book List Price: ~~$20.95~~ Buy New: $12.39 You Save: $8.56 (41%) New (19) Used (4) from $12.39 Media: Paperback Number Of Items: 1 Pages: 268 Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7 Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5 x 0.7 ISBN: 1604940115 Dewey Decimal Number: 920 EAN: 9781604940114 ASIN: 1604940115 Publication Date: April 15, 2008 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Editorial Reviews: Product Description When a person you love is terminally ill, you wish and wish for their pain to go away. You even pray for it. Then the cold reality of death stares you in the face, and you start praying for something new - one more day with them, one more hour, one more minute - and you would give anything to have it. When John R. Davis lost his life partner - fondly called his Banana Bread Man - to brain cancer, he also lost himself. He wondered how his world could ever be anything other than gray. Jack had been the one to bring color into his life. How could Davis expect to experience joy again without his mate of twenty-seven years? How would he survive the loss of Jack's magnanimous presence? Did he even want to survive? Finding My Banana Bread Man is a love story that: * guides people mourning the loss of a loved one * takes them through shock, despair, and loneliness * inspires all those who support them in their life-changing journeys Embracing his partner's memory through "tiny deeds of good action," poetry, letters, and scholarships helped Davis transcend grief. More than that, he was finally able to reconnect with the person he used to be before Jack died. Today, he dedicates his life to helping those who are suffering after the premature deaths of their spouses, mates, or partners. http://www.findingmybananabreadman.com

Customer Reviews: Poignant, beautiful and charming November 9, 2008 I was honored to have a part in the proofreading process of this honestly written, heartfelt book, about true love and devastating loss. The author writes from the depths of his soul after learning the news of his beloved Jack's brain tumor, through his very detailed illness, and finally his journey through mourning. A poignant, lovely story.br /Karen Reddick, Editor and author of Grammar Done Right! Outstanding, heartfelt story of two lives torn apart by illness. October 6, 2008 2 out of 2 found this review helpful For 27 wonderful years, the author and his life partner Jack Orler (aka "Jackie O") had a storybook romance. In their late 20's, they met at a Halloween party, and each knew immediately they had found their "soul mate," their muse, the person with whom the ultimate happiness could be achieved. Jack was the mischievous "Lucy" to John's pragmatic "Ethel," and they brought out the best in each other and all of those around. They relocated from their native rural Michigan town to Scottsdale, Arizona, where Jack opened a successful hairstyling salon, while John had a good job with the state. Jack's son from his marriage, Tom, whom John had helped raise since they met, joined their move to Arizona some years later, eventually marrying one of John's former co-workers, and provided "Papa John" and "Papa John" with their first grandchild. br /br /Unfortunately, this "storybook" had an unexpected and devastating development in the chapter that began in 2004, when Jack went to a doctor because of headaches he had suffered for a few weeks. It was diagnosed as a brain tumor, not just cancer but the most aggressive form of malignancy affecting the brain. With the alternative of a life expectancy measured in weeks, Jack and John decided that Jack would have the suggested surgery, which was considered successful if it got "most" of the fast-spreading cancer, with an optimistic prognosis of another year together. But that was the start of a downward spiral in Jack's previously perfect health, increasing disabilities making him unable to fend for himself, which drafted John into the role of full-time caregiver. Jack's subsequent operations, treatments, illness-related delusions and behavior problems were all problems they faced together, but actually fell more on John's shoulders, who strained to keep Jack's life as full and loving as possible. The eventual death of Jack resulted in a near-breakdown by John, who had been carrying the physical and emotional weight of keeping Jack alive for the past 10 months, and now faced - all at once - his multitude of feelings about the loss of the person who made his life worth living. br /br /Writing this book - which also includes original poems written for and about Jack, as well as their path together - was the way in which John was finally able to verbalize his feelings and regrets, with the hope that their story can help others dealing with catastrophic illnesses and mourning. The book's sizable epilogue contains valuable advice for caregivers, helpers, friends and medical professionals dealing with similar situations, as well as a personal photo journal of Jack and John together. This intelligent and heartfelt book is well written, and unique in its dealing with this situation for unmarried gay couples. Five stars out of five. br /br /br /

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