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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most

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Authors: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher
Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Category: Book

List Price: ~~$16.00~~
Buy Used: $2.20
as of 11/21/2009 04:10 PST details
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New (60) Used (118) from $2.20

Seller: cherrybooks

Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Pages: 250
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.4
Dimensions (in): 7.5 x 5 x 0.6

ISBN: 014028852X
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780140288520
ASIN: 014028852X

Publication Date: April 2000
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Features:

•	ISBN13: 9780140288520
•	Condition: NEW
•	Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
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Similar Items:

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Editorial Reviews:

Amazon.com Review
We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues actually comprise three separate components: the "what happened" conversation (verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the "feelings" conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the "identity" conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning). The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated. And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such unavoidable clashes arise. --Howard Rothman

Product Description
Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill.

Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn:
how to start the conversation without defensiveness
why what is not said is as important as what is
ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations
how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation

Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

"Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times

"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist

"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters

"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman

Customer Reviews:

Showing reviews 1-5 of 100

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Do You Communicate? Read this. November 18, 2009
Karen Susman (Denver, CO USA)
Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heedn
is so practical and readable I purchased a copy for each person in a
communication skills training program I provided recently.

Just because we speak, write, e-mail, or tweet, we think we've
communicated effectively. But all we've done is catapult words into
the stratosphere. According to Difficult Conversations, for every conversation there are
actually three conversations going on for each person.

Unless all these conversations are brought out in the open,
misunderstandings rule.

Difficult Conversations provides a template,
a step-by-step system for approaching those tough conversations we all
have - or avoid having.

Difficult Conversations urges the reader to go from delivering
information during a conflict to taking a curious, learning stance.
Instead of blaming and defending yourself, explore the other person's
experience. Try to learn more about what went on and what's going on.
Until you each understand the three conversations, you can't move
forward.

You'll read Difficult Conversations more than once. Every page will
be dog-eared and highlighted profusely. It may be an overstatement,
but only slightly, to say you won't want to leave home without this
power-packed volume.

5 out of 5 stars

Solid practical help for leaders October 19, 2009
Chris R. Gambill
Everyone has to have difficult conversations and this book can help make them more effective and less painful. This research-based approach is entirely practical and useful. The techniques can be used in a variety of situations. Like all skills, it still requires practice to do it well, but this book is a good place to learn the methods.

4 out of 5 stars

Great Buy October 1, 2009
Brandon Morris (Saint Louis, MO)
Everyone should have this book in their personal library. Whether its difficult issues at the job, within friendships or relationships, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most will assist in your approach to resolving those critical issues in your life: great book.

3 out of 5 stars

audio needs better narration... August 24, 2009
Just another reviewer (USA)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful

I have the audio version. While I like the message of the book, the audio cd needs work. The speakers are boring speakers and hard to keep interested in listening. There's like 2 male voices and 1-2 female voices. Keeps jumping around.

5 out of 5 stars

Where Have You Been All My Life? July 7, 2009
Donna G. Storey (Northern California, USA)
I got this book from the library on the recommendation of a friend, but I'm now buying a copy to keep as a reference. This slim volume has completely changed my attitude toward difficult conversations--and as a shy, sensitive type most conversations are difficult for me--by revealing what is really going on beneath the surface: our investment in "being right," our denial of the impact of feelings, and most interestingly, the fact that what's often at stake is our own idea of ourselves as a "good" person. A few reviewers have criticized the book for going into too much detail, but I found it all extremely helpful. When you're trying to undo years and years of bad habits, defensiveness and misperceptions, it's essential to work through it step by step. I wish I'd read this book a long time ago, but I'm definitely going to discuss these topics with my kids and maybe save them a lot of difficulty in their lives. Highly recommended.

Showing reviews 1-5 of 100

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