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Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders

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Author: Mary Pipher
Publisher: Riverhead Trade
Category: Book

List Price: ~~$15.00~~
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Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 352
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.1 x 5.5 x 1

ISBN: 1573227846
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.874
EAN: 9781573227841
ASIN: 1573227846

Publication Date: March 1, 2000
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

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Editorial Reviews:

Amazon.com Review
Mary Pipher, author of the bestselling and groundbreaking IReviving Ophelia/I, which charts the troubled passage of girls into adolescence, has nimbly covered yet another psychological passage: that into old age, which May Sarton called "a foreign country." p Pipher reveals that the greatest shame for today's elders--most of whom survived the Depression--is not being self-sufficient. The majority of them stoically prefer to keep their feelings to themselves, and this is why it's so difficult to convince older parents to accept or even discuss such issues as physical and mental health, finances, eldercare, or living wills. This directly conflicts with the openness of their children, who grew up in the era of "free love" and were influenced by society (and the advent of psychology in the 1950s and popularization of therapy) to talk frankly about emotions. While a boomer can easily talk with a friend about marriage difficulties or even surgery, an elder is likely to find admitting such "weaknesses" abhorrent. p IAnother Country/I includes excerpts of sessions with dozens of Pipher's psychology patients, interspersed with not-so-obvious advice for sensitively communicating with the elderly. Some interviews are grim: one woman hallucinated that rodents were running through her house; she was so desperate for company from her family, but too proud to ask them to stop by, that she invented her own visitors. But the breakthroughs in communication Pipher is able to accomplish, sometimes with the help of grandchildren as intermediaries, are startling and thoroughly encouraging. (For example, the animals the woman was imagining disappeared after she received company regularly.)p Pipher cared for her dying mother for a "horrid," guilt-filled year while this book was being written and says that she wanted "to help others in my situation feel less alone." She also aims to help each generation understand the other. In these goals she's succeeded brilliantly. Any adult struggling with issues with their parents, especially mortality, will find IAnother Country/I an indispensable source of suggestions and support. I--Erica Jorgensen/I

Product Description
Mary Pipher's phenomenal iNew York Times/i bestseller-a book about us and our parents...brbr"[Pipher] ventures into communities and then returns to explain their truths and ways of being to the rest of us in clear, clean English. Totally accessible...[Another Country] is a compassionate...look at the disconnect between baby boomers and their aging parents or grandparents." -iUSAToday/ibrbrThere are more older people in America today than ever before. They are our parents and grandparents, our aunts and uncles and in-laws.They are living longer, but in a culture that has come to worship youth-a culture in which families have dispersed, communities have broken down, and older people are isolated. Meanwhile, adults in two-career families are struggling to divide their time among their kids, their jobs, and their aging parents-searching for the right words to talk about loneliness, forgetfulness, or selling the house.brbriAnother Country/i is a field guide to this rough terrain for a generation of baby boomers who are finding themselves unprepared to care for those who have always cared for them. Psychologist and bestselling writer Mary Pipher maps out strategies that help bridge the gaps that separate us from our elders. And with her inimitable combination of respect and realism, she offers us new ways of supporting each other-new ways of sharing our time, our energy, and our love.brbr "In iAnother Country/i, [Pipher] observes that to grow old for many people in today's fragmented, age-phobic, age-segregated America is to inhabit a foreign country, isolated, disconnected and misunderstood."-iNew York Times/ibrbr"Pipher explores how today's mobile, individualistic, media-drenched culture prevents so many dependent old people, and the relatives trying to do right by them, from getting what they need...her insights will help people of several generations."-iThe Washington Post/ibrbr"[Pipher] wrote [Another Country] to help Boomers like herself better understand their parents and grandparents and to glimpse what might await them in their old age."-iChicago Tribune/ibrbr"Mary Pipher urges baby boomers to stay in tune with their elderly parents' needs...With average life expectancy now in the mid-70s and 2 million Americans turning 65 each year-a number that will skyrocket as the baby boomer generation ages-the stakes are raised for families and societies alike."-iPeople/ibrbr"The author of iReviving Ophelia/i unflinchingly takes us into the heart of this largely uncharted territory."-iRocky Mountain News/ibrbr"A field guide to old age, combining personal stories with social theory."-iBoston Globe/ibrbr"Dr. Pipher sees aging from a broader perspective. [She] emphasizes the need for the elderly to become elders-people who can help us find a deep structure for our communities-[and] she makes a persuasive case for roots."-iChristian Science Monitor/ibrbr"This is a book that thoughtful Boomers can embrace as their own...iAnother Country/i looks at issues like care-giving, death, generational relations and the resiliency many elders display in old age. It offers advice on improving our relationships with other generations and with understanding our own passing years."-iSt. Petersburg Times/ibrbr"Rich in stories and full in details....For people wondering about their parents' or more poignantly, their own aging."-iSt. Louis Post-Dispatch/ibrbr"[Mary Pipher] comes across as neither saint nor scold. [Another Country is] not a how-to book, but a how-to-think book."-iMinnesota Star Tribune/i

Customer Reviews: Read 30 more reviews...

5 out of 5 stars

Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of our Elders October 9, 2008
Fantastic Book! It changed my life about my attitude toward thinking about growing old. I would recommend it highly to anyone: I have recommended it to several friends and also 2 of my book clubs are now going to read it.

4 out of 5 stars

Incredible Insight! February 9, 2008
I purchased this book as a requirement for one of my senior level college courses. Normally, I would not have enjoyed reading required text for class; however, this book grabbed me from page one -- I had absolutely no problem keeping up with deadlines for reading. It kept me in constant contact with my grandparents and brought incredible insight into why and how our generations became so gapped. This will be a book that I will keep on my bookshelf long after college has ended.

5 out of 5 stars

You may find yourself here---or not. December 29, 2007
I thought I'd find myself in this book, but I am neither old enough nor young enough to fit either model. Neverless I loved the book, and wwhat I remember most vividly are the poems, especially the one about the dying grandmother: "She lay back in it and let it have her." Haunting, isn't it?

5 out of 5 stars

Well worth reading January 9, 2006
7 out of 8 found this review helpful

The author of the bestseller Reviving Ophelia this times takes us on a journey through the lives of our elders. Following the lead of Bernice Neugarten at the University of Chicago, she distinguishes between the "young-old" and the "old-old". This book focuses mainly on the later, telling the stories of people who are coping with loss and illness.br /br /While individual differences are always present, Pipher see trends among those in the "old-old" group, as well as among their families and children. Being able to anticipate and appreciate these commonalities, she believes, will ultimately be our best route to communicating with and honoring our elders.br /br /She calls cultural differences between the generations time-zone problems. Some are obvious, such as differences in attitudes towards authority. Others seem obvious only when she points them out to us, such as the fact that our parents' generation was "pre-irony". Without recognizing these differences, we are bound to be frustrated with each other.br /br /In what she calls "the saddest chapter in this book", the author compares the old-old to victims of chronic post traumatic stress disorder, people overwhelmed by inevitable multiple losses and threats. It is a uninviting concept, one we would prefer to discard or at least put a positive spin on. br /br /Yet the trauma of old age can also be the catalyst for our ultimate growth and integration. Pipher tells us that "each of us will experience our ship going down...From our responses come the best and worst stories".br /br /Even in her stories of those elders who end their lives bitter and aggrieved, there is sometimes healing in those who are left. Adult children reconcile with siblings and with themselves. Teenage grandchildren come into the circle.br /br /And in many heartwarming stories of resilient, courageous elders, the author helps us come to appreciate the dignity and peace that can exist alongside the losses.br /br /The book is practical as well. Facilities which have successfully integrated the care of the young and the old are described. Programs which have paired schoolchildren with elders come to life with personal stories. Tales of foster grandparents make us realize how little we have utilized these powerful resources so far.br /br /There is much starkness here, but also much hope. Hope that we can do a much better job addressing the needs of the old-old members of our tribe. Perhaps the demandingness of our baby boomer generation will serve us well in this regard. We're all heading in the same direction. br /br /br /

5 out of 5 stars

Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders August 19, 2005
1 out of 2 found this review helpful

This book is written in a readable style that holds your interest. I bought it to help understand my elderly father who is suffering from dementia, but I found it told me a lot about myself and what I will want and need in the next 20 years. Mary Pipher's insightful and easy to understand.

Copyright 2007 White Hat Communications.
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